The Second List

I said this would be short. Let's rock it:

Things I've learned about England and the beautiful English language thus far:

1. No matter what direction the escalator is taking you, it is called a lift. (elevators, too, but less relevant to my confusion)

2. The main man on the hit, sit-down, current version of Whose Line? on BBC looks like the Megabus man; Megabus is as funny to Brits as it is to Americans.

3. If you look at a British car just on the right left side, where an "American driver" would be, it looks like a ghost is driving the car. It's really fun. You should try it.

4. If you bring an umbrella, it won't rain. Don't try the opposite.

5. Do NOT stand on the grass in any historic college. 

6. Just because a fruit cake says it's gluten-free doesn't mean it's not fruit cake. It's disgusting.

7. Even if you're not sure if a BADA faculty member was truly a Steppenwolf ensemble member, assume it. He won't be, because you read the wrong bio, but he will be from Chicago and will have great Steppenwolf stories. Small world. Tall man (who knows Linda Gates).

8. Always assume people know who Linda Gates is. 

9. If people don't know who Linda Gates is, assume you're a little bit better than them.

10. Don't show that you're a little bit better than them, but know in the back of your mind that you're "in" with the BADA faculty, and that's all that matters.

11. Just kidding-- really, all that matters is that you see the Great Hall when in Oxford. You can also see in that same college where they shot the first broom-flying scene in the first movie. Once you see that, you really are cool.

12. It's OK to drink apple juice at a drinks reception. No one will notice it's not alochol. 

13. There actually are many other languages spoken and in advertising here. You should probably learn them all.

14. Don't cave and buy the first ice cream available. OPEN YOUR EYES to the beautiful ice cream world that lies down the street... every street... just not the first street.

15. But, seriously, even that crappy ice cream is good. It comes from a real ice cream truck. England has ice cream trucks that sell ice cream. Novel.

16. Business class is really great, but you don't have to eat all of the food available. 

17. (I could say something very politically charged about the extra amenities I received in business class, but I won't. Because I'm in England, joolllllyyy gooooddd time!)

18. Trains are expensive.

19. Northwestern kids may or may not need to do the claw and "Go Cats!" at least once wherever they all first meet each other. But it is never, ever repeated again.

20. I could be in the most beautiful, historic landscape, but I will still need 2 naps a day.

20 is enough. We'll play catch-up later. Namely, I didn't mention basically my entire day in London with my step-mom before I got to Oxford. But you don't want to read about the fun good stuff, do you? No! You need to learn how to survive here. And why it's great to be an American tourist. ashdgaiosp93478q209ywfia[2*#&49-- no. A student in Oxford.

*As Juli Del Prete is lovingly allowing one to borrow her lappy-top, I will not be editing or even re-reading anything I post. Enjoy that.